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demetriandelibinaryboyfriends · 4 years ago

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This is so random and idk why I was thinking about it but... Hawkmetri hand kiss. Like maybe when everyone goes to prom together, they all start pairing off, and since Yasmine is out of the picture at this point, Demetri looks at Hawk and takes his hand & 'jokingly' is like "I guess it's just you and me" and then BOOM hand kiss. Or it could also happen during the prom photos they're all taking beforehand (bc I'm imagining this as Miyagi-Fang going to prom in a massive group) or maybe on the way into the building?? Idk I'm just a sucker for hand kisses and I would like to hear your thoughts

“Since Yasmine is out of the picture at that point” HA yeah, I like how we all seem to agree in the Binary Boyfriends fandom that there’s no way in hell those two would last XD

I can absolutely see Demetri especially giving Hawk hand kisses and Hawk’s entire face just goes REDDER THAN A GODDAMN LOBSTER and he starts stuttering and grumbling and being like “sTOP IT DEMETRI we have a REPUTATION to uphold” and Demetri, shit-eating smirk on his face as always, is like “Ah, but we ARE upholding it--by being the classiest ones here! No one is more suave than us, my dear Hawk” (going along with my headcanon that Demetri calls Eli “Hawk” when he’s roasting/teasing/flirting with him) and then he gives Hawk another little hand kiss and Hawk is just like “JXJNBIUBSDOVOYVSDYV”

Bonus points if this happens after Demetri and Yasmine have a big fight--like maybe they go to prom together, but Yasmine bitches about Hawk hanging out with them (because Hawk doesn’t have a date, and of COURSE Demetri invites him to third wheel because he wants his best friend around literally as much as possible since he got him back). After all, Yasmine’s reputation is already in shambles, and the LAST thing she needs is to be seen with the bed-wetting lip scar mohawk kid. And Demetri is like “Hey, that’s my best friend you’re talking about, and if you don’t like him being here, you can take a fucking hike” and Yasmine takes her corsage and just THROWS it in Demetri’s face like “Well, I hope you like going back to being a fucking freak who’s going to die alone, because you don’t have a prom date anymore!” and storms off. There’s a bit of an awkward silence for a while, and then Demetri turns to Hawk like “Well...I guess you have to be my prom date now, to save me the terrible embarrassment of having to go stag for the rest of the night after being dumped. Shall we?” And he just grabs Hawk’s hand and kisses it and starts leading Hawk toward the dance floor and Hawk fucking SHORT-CIRCUITS more than the crusty old computer lab desktop they worked with at coding camp.

Cue Demetri spending the rest of the night leading Hawk around by the hand and lifting his fingers up and kissing his knuckles and OBVIOUSLY it’s totally a joke, just “acting gay For the Memes” and to amuse all of their friends, OBVIOUSLY they’re not actually prom dates now--just Joke Prom Dates. And Hawk feels weird, because his stomach is all woozy and why the fuck should it be, if this whole thing is just an Elaborate Comedy Routine of sorts meant to make the school hoot and holler about the “gay karate couple”??? And then some slow song comes on, and Demetri’s like “Come now, Hawk, my avian love, let us dance to it!” You know, For the Lulz. Obviously. And Demetri pulls him out on the dance floor and the next minute he’s putting his goddamn bony, gangly hands all over Hawk trying to find where you’re supposed to hold someone during a waltz (like either of these boys know absolutely jack shit about traditional ballroom dancing) and goddamn it, if Hawk’s heart isn’t about to beat out of his chest at being this close to Demetri, at seeing green eyes inches away just glinting with smug amusement, like they so often do, at feeling his skin heat up a little every place Demetri’s long fingers brush up against his suit, at swaying in sync with Demetri in time to cheesy music. And Demetri’s humming along and insists on spinning Hawk a few times (which Hawk ABSOLUTELY does not enjoy, he will HAVE YOU KNOW), and at the song’s last Loud Triumphant Chorus, Demetri just suddenly full-on dips Hawk (when the hell did he get strong enough to do that??? Hawk wonders) and kisses him on the mouth. Once he processes what’s happening, Hawk shoves Demetri off because okay, that’s taking it WAY too far and he just GLARES at him and hisses “Okay, knock it off, asshole! I KNOW you’re just doing this shit for show.” And Demetri pauses for a minute, his entire expression just wilting, before he frowns and says “This was never for show, Eli. I just...I just figured you’d never want to do any of that kind of thing with me if it wasn’t just...just some joke. And I guess I indulged in it a little bit because I’m selfish, and I got caught up in the fantasy that we could...actually be something. But I know you don’t want that, and I should have respected that. I’m sorry.” And Hawk is just lost for words, because...Demetri was actually serious about all this??? And thought he was the one who wasn’t??? And how is Demetri so stupid that he doesn’t realize Hawk’s not pissed because Demetri’s getting too into acting gay--he’s pissed because it fucking hurts for Demetri to act like the concept of them ever being together is just some laughable joke???And--wait, why does that bother him so much?!

And then Hawk Moskowitz does his signature move--Flipping the Script like a total badass, and throwing caution to the wind. He sighs and grabs Demetri, muttering “you fucking MORON” before leaning up and kissing him hard (and he HAS to lean up, because fucking hell, Demetri is a goddamn snarky giraffe of a human). Pretty much the entire dance floor snickers and chortles but Demetri and Hawk just. Don’t. Care.

Meanwhile Yasmine roams the prom, finding the least-ugly guys going stag and hitting on them because it turns out being dateless isn’t nearly as fun and freeing as she thought, even if she ditched Demetri to Make a Statement. But alas, no one is interested in having Front Wedgie as a hot date.

Cue Aisha showing up out of absolutely nowhere, crashing the prom just long enough to give Yasmine another wedgie in front of the entire dance floor and then vanishing from the show again. Everyone begins to call Yasmine Double Wedgie. People are still calling her this at their high school reunion, 30 years later. Yasmine is not pleased.

#hawk x demetri #demetri x eli #binary boyfriends #hawkmeat #eli x demetri #demetri x hawk #elimetri #demetri cobra kai #eli moskowitz #yasmine cobra kai #aisha robinson #cobra kai #cobra kai season 4 #hawk #demetri #eli #my askbox

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thoughtfullyyoungduck · 4 years ago

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And he said, I hope you know how to swim

A/N: this is for the gift exchange from @itfandomprompts! My giftee is @iheartthoreau who asked for shy skinny dipping lovers and jealous Eddie. I’m sorry it’s out so late, I hope you enjoy it anyway!

Summary: The Derry midnight breeze is freezing, Eddie notes, still dressed in a shirt and pants and dreading having to get rid of them. He’s bare foot now, standing on top of the quarry and peering down into the glinting lake. Next to him, also bare foot, Richie looks over his shoulder, and laughs, bright and innocent.

warnings: skinny dipping, mentioned of nudity (but nothing graphic)

read on a3o

The atmosphere of six best friends who’ve just moved past the worst stages in their life cackles in Eddie’s brain.

He’s buzzed up, energized beyond all logic by the laughter and loving gestures so carelessly tossed around in their group. Pennywise is dead, and with it the looming threat following each of them around and the teasing unhappiness hinting at what they were missing but not giving any clues as to what.

It’s all over now, and a road full of new opportunities lays ahead of them. Everyone is acting loose, ecstatic with the weight that fell off their shoulders. Eddie’s feeling a tad guilty too, for calling Myra and informing her that way about their upcoming divorce that he’s going to set in motion as soon as he’s had a good night sleep, but he felt so brave after surviving a literal killer clown, that he wanted to get it over with as soon as possible.

A part of him was also frightful that he’d lose his courage, between now and getting home, that he’d look around his house and accept that this was all he was destined for, a mediocre life with a wife he didn’t love and a job that sucked the joy out of all employees. Myra deserved better though, and that’s why Eddie’s guilty eyeing his phone, debating on calling her back. He won’t take back what he said, because he’s relieved to have put it out in the open, but he’s unsure if he should have been more empathetic towards her feelings in all of this. If he should have ended the call after telling her to take care.

Bev notices his wandering eyes from where she seated beside him on the couch, the woman still laughing a stitch, shifting forward and hiding his phone in between seat cushions. Out of sight out of mind so to speak.

‘We’ve got time to worry about it tomorrow Eddie.’ She says, and she’s right. Tomorrow both him and Bev will have to deal with the intricacies of divorce and separating a company and a home. Tonight is reserved for the losers only.

‘Yeah Eds, and here I was assuming that after twenty years we’d have some stuff to catch up on.’

Richie regards him from the floor, legs tossed up upon the couch with his body upside down. His glasses are sliding off, but he’s lazy to fix them, so he looks like even more of a goofball than normal. If Eddie could, if he didn’t feel like his intentions would be even more noticeable if he did, he’d scoot over to Richie, adjusting his glasses and letting his fingers trail his cheek and bask in the skin to skin contact.

‘You never did anything interesting before we went to college, what makes you think you’ve done something interesting after?’ Eddie’s tongue is sharp, a façade he builds to stop speculation about his feelings towards Richie, though the truth is that he is intrigued and he craves to know every small detail about his life outside of Derry.

‘No you guys are not starting this again. I’m sick of your bickering,’ Bill interjects, rolling his eyes at the pair.

‘I reject that big Bill, we’re hilarious, you can’t be sick of us bickering when you haven’t had the pleasure of hearing it for the last twenty years. Michael, back me up here buddy.’

‘Sorry Rich, I’m not getting involved in the slightest.’

‘Yeah guys come on, can’t we have one quiet night in?’

‘What so Eddie can just call me boring and I’m supposed to let it slide? Me? I’m the fireworks on the Fourth of July, the highest roller coaster in the park and the whipped cream on strawberries, but I am not boring.’ Richie changes positions, almost accidentally knocking over his beer bottle. He theatrically waves his arms back and forth, trying to animate his words and add conviction.

‘Okay, okay you’re not boring, but don’t overrate yourself either. The most adventurous thing you ever did in high school was skip a class to read a comic book in the school’s bathroom. Not exactly daredevil behavior.’

Bev sips from her whiskey, winking at Richie whose face turns beet red for a reason Eddie can’t decipher. It’s not until Bev conspicuously blows out a gust of air with her lips puckered that Eddie connects the dots.

‘Didn’t you say you ditched because you were smoking with Beverly? Dude did you fucking lie about that? I was worried you’d die and get cancer ever since that day you piece of shit.’

‘No I definitely did smoke. I swear.’

‘You’re not kidding anyone Rich, I vouched for you all those years ago, but I’m not doing it again. Little Richie was a comic book nerd who just pretended to be really cool. We never ever smoked together.’

The losers all holler, clapping their hands together and cheering on the exposure of their foulmouthed friend, debunking all the story Richie apparently made up where he and Be had to sneak out at night to smoke inconspicuously, with the exception of Eddie and Richie. Eddie, because he’s busy glaring at Richie and Richie because he’s busy tapping Bill’s hand away, teasingly disheveling his hair.

Eddie wishes he was brave enough to give these little affections to his friend, especially after witnessing how soothed Richie got when Eddie hugged him after Neibolt, when he had dropped his face into the nape of Eddie’s neck and stayed there, swaying on his feet of exhaustion. It would only make him a good friend, a best friend, but Eddie is still so damn afraid.

He might have had the power to separate from his wife and kill an abstract form of his deepest fears, but Bowers angry yelled words, such as fairy and faggot, swung to his head any time he and Richie graveted closer while walking, haunt him even now.

Touching is off limits the words tell him, so he shows affection the only way he’s ever known towards Richie, by bickering and pulling pigtails.

‘I should have expected that.’ Eddie nods vehemently, laughing as Richie’s mouth drops open in a shocked manner.

‘Are you kidding me? Eddie Spaghetti is the one telling me I’m a loser?’

Eddie flips him off, ignoring Mike’s whispered; ‘he’s got a point’, in favor of levitating his full attention on Richie. The giggling in the room elevates an octave higher.

‘You all laugh’, Richie addresses the entire group, ‘but was I not the one who came up with the idea for the list?’

Abruptly, all sounds snap off, as everyone is snapped back to the past. Even Richie is, at face value, confused about the word he spoke, until the concept and creation of the list is brought to the forefront of everyone’s mind.

‘Holy shit.’

‘Oh my god Mike please tell me you still have it.’

Mike shakes his head with a far-off look. ‘Sorry guys, I don’t know who had it last but I never found it again.’ He’s saddened by it, like he did them all an injustice by not holding on to a flimsy piece of paper.

The List, capital L, was nothing more but a checklist, composed with all the fun and dangerous things the losers all had hopes of doing after graduating high school. Eddie remembers now, the hushed laughter and uncompromisable joy that came with the simple idea of these things, how everyone pitched in and added dare after dare while him and Stan exchanged glances and hoped to god that some things would never be executed.

‘That’s okay Mike, I’m just happy we can all remember making it.’ Ben smiles reassuringly Mike’s way, who smiles back and takes a deep breath.

‘Wait, I think I can recall some of the things we wrote on there. Hold on’, Bev squeezes her eyes shut and snaps her finger in the hope it will get to her faster. ‘Oh’, she exclaims, startling Bill who chokes on his own saliva, ‘we were going to visit Europe, do a high rope parkour, rock climb and some other things I can’t remember right now.’

‘Didn’t we also agree to volunteer in a hospital and go camping in the national forest?’ Ben asks, awaiting confirmation.

‘Yeah we did, Stan was throwing a fit over going camping because of the environment and the dirt, but we were well on our way to convince him.’

‘Wow,’ Richie breathes, chest puffing up and head dropping back into the couch so his face isn’t visible to the rest. ‘I forgot all about that, but come to think of it, I’m pretty sure I did most of those things with Bryan.’

And who the fuck is Bryan? Certainly not Eddie, sweating in fear from the things that were being listed, searching for the most extreme dares he’d seen happen on tv to suggest, doing anything he could to impress Richie. Eddie was terrified of most of the activities on the list, like Bev’s idea to waterski in the ocean, or Mike’s zip lining idea, but he would have done them if it meant he could bask in Richie’s attention, impress Richie to rid himself of scared baby Eddie was so sure he must have been in Richie’s eyes. So who the hell was this Bryan stealing his thunder like that?

‘Who’s Bryan?’ Bev inquires with a smirk, winking at Richie blush ridden face. Eddie’s jealousy rears its ugly head, flaring up and making his head woozy. He simultaneously both considers choking Bev and thanking her for the question.

With Richie’s secret fresh on his mind, the way he’d so shamefully admitted that he was gay and they were the first people he’d ever found the courage to tell, Eddie wondered if Bryan was perhaps someone Richie had been romantically involved with.

Richie would have deserved it, Eddie argues in his mind, to at least for a short period of time have someone love him back as fiercely as he dons it out, but Eddie’s also furious that he stole Richie out from under his nose.

Which is illogical, because even if he and Richie had managed to stay in touch, and Eddie confessed – not much chance there, as Eddie didn’t even tell anyone he was gay when Richie did - there was no guaranty that Richie would’ve reciprocated.

‘No one snoopy’, Richie argues with a jittery leg, ’just some guy I hung out with for a while.’

Bev appears unconvinced, but she’s also respectful towards Richie's decision to not say anything. ‘So which ones did you complete?’

‘I went to Europa senior year of college, smoked a bunch of weed, went zip lining. The normal kind of stuff.’

Zip-lining, or smoking weed for that matter, causes Eddie skin to crawl, not that he’d ever admit it. He hates that that’s not the case for Bryan.

‘Well thanks Rich, none of us ever did anything on the list without the other losers. I guess you didn’t miss us too much.’ It’s not fair, of course it’s not. He can tell by the eagerness to spend time together that Richie was very lonely, and experienced the same aching emptiness where his friends were supposed to be as the rest of them.

The bitter tone of Eddie's speech, and the way Richie’s eyes turn a little dimmer extinguishes the fire of Eddie’s envy. Richie deserves better than him in every way. An apology lies at the tip of his tongue, ready to jump into the open and hopefully aid the wounds before they’re fully developed.

Sensing the impending hurricane of trouble on the horizon Mike is eager to intervene, playing mediator for two forces that are about to collide. ‘Well I mean, we probably wouldn’t have gone through with most of them anyway.’

‘Speak for yourself’, Eddie waves him off, spiteful that Mike has a good point. He would have found a way to undermine their plans and make it so that he could back out without appearing like a meek lamb, for at least half of the activities. If he had known about Bryan’s existence though, he would have done anything. He feels ready now to do anything, to one up him and establish his spot as Richie’s number one.

‘Prove it,’ Bill dares with a lopsided smirk, certain he’s got Eddie beat. He sustains eye contact, reaching for the bag of chips on the table and gnawing on it with the most smug aura Eddie has ever witnessed him having.

‘I would’, Eddie defends fiercely, ‘but we can’t do any of the things in Derry.’

‘Sounds like a cop out to me.’

‘Yeah, sure Big Bill, because you can easily find a zip line here in Derry. The town that refused to spend money on renewing the library back in the eighties is no doubt going to have that installed by now.’

‘What about skinny dipping?’ Ben proposes innocently, having no idea the kind of strain he’s putting Eddie under.

‘That’s a great idea Ben, I forgot we put that one on the list.’ Beverly acknowledges despite Eddie’s frantic head shaking. The room temperature drops down and rises back up steadily, at least according to Eddie. He’s starting to sweat, something he never does and takes pride in – in the office he’s the level headed one, and that’s saying something – and he pulls at his collar to allow some air to ventilate.

Everything except that. A swim in a dirty lake that was most likely infected was a whole plate of different bacteria, and being naked in front of the man he’s in love with is not something Eddie is particularly fond of. He almost asks for a different thing to do, but that would truly be a cop out, and he both refuses to back down in front of Richie and give Bill the satisfaction of being right.

‘Good luck with that Eds, question before this all goes down, am I allowed to use this in my next bit?’

‘Actually,’ Bev interrupts, ‘I think you should join him too.’

‘Hey I wasn’t the one that said I’d be willing to do anything.’

‘No, but you were the one who added it on the list in the first place. C’mon Richie, It’ll be fun. For us, not for you guys, but we’ll get a good laugh out of it.’

Richie is hesitant, same as Eddie, readjusting his glasses again. Eddie is sure that if he says the word Richie will tell everyone to back down for him. He wouldn’t even make fun of Eddie for it, should Eddie give any indication that he wouldn’t want him too. He thinks back to Bryan, and how he wouldn’t have backed down for such a thing, and how in awe Richie must have been seeing the man abandon all safety precaution and go for it, Eddie’s mind is made up instantly.

‘Let’s do it.’ He says without leaving room for argument, nodding at Richie as he looks to him. He hopes Richie will go with it, but is also confident that of course he will. As kids they followed each other everywhere, and surely that hasn’t changed.

‘Really? I mean yeah – sure I guess. Bring it on.’

-----

The Derry midnight breeze is freezing, Eddie notes, still dressed in a shirt and pants and dreading having to get rid of them. He’s barefoot now, standing on top of the quarry and peering down into the glinting lake. Eddie’s jumping from one foot to the other, annoyed that dirt is clinging to his skin and branches are piercing his soles, even more aggravated at the idea of cleaning them in infection filled lake water. Bev better keep her end of the promise, and be waiting near the end of the lake with a pair of fresh pressed towels.

Next to him, also bare foot, Richie looks over his shoulder, and laughs, bright and innocent.

‘I forgot how high this was.’

It is high up, but they’ve done this jump at least a hundred times before, so Eddie’s not worried about the plunge. He’d assume Richie isn’t either, but the man keeps glances towards the path they took to get up here, uncharacteristically silent.

‘It’s okay if you're too scared to go through with it Eduardo, I won’t tell the others.’ Richie smirks when he notices Eddie’s glance, crossing his arms over his chest.

The movement makes his shoulders bulk, highlighting just how much bigger Richie is compared to Eddie. Eddie’s mouth waters, and he starts to worry about how he’s going to have to get through seeing Richie’s naked shoulders in the flesh.

‘Just get undressed will you? Hurry up.’

‘Why? Eager to see my bare ass?’

‘Yeah, because who doesn’t think jumping naked into a lake they frequented as kids is the epitome of sexiness? No you self-centered idiot, I want to get it over with so I can go back to the Inn and grab a warm shower.’

With one last peek, Eddie moves backwards, standing away from the ledge and begins to unbutton his shirt, before thinking better off it. Richie picks up on his hesitation, shifting backwards too and motioning his head towards the ridge.

‘Do you want me to show you how it’s done?’

‘No,’ Eddie objects, ‘I’ll go first.’

‘Why? I’m not going to stare at your junk while you're jumping in if that’s what you're worried about Eddie. I’m not that kind of gay.’ Rarely does Richie toss aside an opportunity to grant Eddie another humorous nickname, so the use of his real name spooks Eddie just enough that he opens his mouth to apologize without even realizing what he’s apologizing for.

Richie’s facial expression, set in a grimace and squinting his eyes defensively, are a dead give away that Eddie’s words are being taken the wrong way. If only Richie knew that Eddie wanted him to go in first so he could avoid the same temptation Richie thought he was forcing on him.

‘Richie no, that’s not what I meant I-.’ Heartfelt compliments are not something Eddie has had a lot of practice for these last few years, and he’s not doing a good job catching up on them either. Therefore he sighs and hopes that he can find another way to prove to Richie he’d never accuse him of something like that. ‘Whatever, just go first already.’

‘Fine but turn around okay?’

Eddie listens to him, back towards Richie and the jump off, though he doesn’t really understand the request. With Richie comes a lot of flair, and he was more or less been prepared for a joke about how Eddie got to confirm how big his dick is in reality.

He waits and listens carefully for the sounds of clothes being dropped on the ground, and he can’t stop his mind from secretly imagining how Richie looks like without them once he distinguishes it. Eddie shakes his head, scolding his own mind.

The next few moments are filled with raspy breaths originating from Richie, footstep sounding further away and then closer again in an erratic pattern. He must be scared of the jump. Under normal circumstances, Eddie would ask to jump in at the same time, but since Richie asked Eddie not to turn around, he won’t.

‘If you don’t jump in the next five minutes,’ Eddie teases, the way Richie used to tease him, ‘I’ll push you in.’ A second later Eddie hears Richie’s loud whooping as he plunges down into the dark water.

Eddie spins, the only thing greeting him the dark with very little light clearing up his path, from the moon. He’s having a hard time to even see where the cliff ends, and he can’t disguise Richie in the water at all.

‘I’m coming in’, he yells to the void, in case Richie can’t discern his body in time and needs to move out of the way. He takes off his clothes, goosebumps erupting on his skin, and folds his pants and t-shirt up neatly, touching the ground with his hands to find a dry spot to lay them on. The air is cold, and so Eddie refuses to linger on top any longer than he has to.

He jogs up to the ledge and darts off before his mind can conjure up the thousands of things that can go wrong from swimming in the dark this late at night. His body flies through the air and connects with the water in one swoop, a pit of glee bursting in Eddie’s stomach. Jumping from the quarry equals freedom, a hot summer day and love for all of his friends, but in particular Richie.

Eddie keeps his head underwater until his lungs burn, eyes closed and allowing himself to just feel all the sensations. Then, something tickles the back of his leg, and the peaceful moment is over. He kicks back the surface, away from the spot where he could swear something touched him, and searches around for Richie.

Richie, with his wet black hair clinging to his forehead, strands of it sticking out in every direction, and his droplet covered glasses, roving more of Eddie’s heart each minute they’re near each other. He’s never looked more beautiful, and Eddie has never had to fight the urge to kiss him as much as he does now.

‘See, I told you I wouldn’t stare Eds, I can’t even see anything with all these splatters on my glasses.’

The moon reflects on the water, so that it’s impenetrable, and neither Rich nor Eddie can look down and see their lower body parts.

What Eddie can see is enough anyway, Richie’s shoulders and part of his chest hold Eddie’s attention, and he forgets to respond to Richie’s comment.

His eyes land on a dark bruise, just on the bottom of Richie’s neck, a remnant of their fight with Pennywise earlier that day. Without thinking, without standing still on the consequences of such an action, Eddie swims closer, stretches his arm out, and lingers his fingertips over the bruise. He carefully positions his body to not touch any other body part of Richie’s except for his fingers on his neck.

He makes an inquisitive noise, thumb stroking over the injury in what he hopes to be a calming matter. He physically can’t pull away, entranced with the way he moves and responds to him, trying but failing to get his fill of Richie clenched.

‘Eddie’, Richie whispers, scared to break the silence and the intimate moment. ‘It’ll be fine. And hey, at least he didn’t do anything to my dick.’

‘Yeah, would have been a shame if it were to become even smaller.’

Richie snorts, retaliating the jest with a wave of dirty water aimed at Eddie.

Eddie gasps, spitting out a bit of water that managed to sneak into his mouth. ‘Oh you’re on.’

The two of them chase each other, and if it weren’t for the fact that they were both naked, Eddie would have thrown his entire body weight in the game to push Richie underwater. As it stands, they just splash back and forth until they’re exhausted and the remnants of their laughter dies out, barely enough energy left to stay afloat side by side.

‘Did you have this much fun with Bryan?’ Eddie asks, a bit envious. He hates how he’s still stuck on the Bryan thing, hates that his mind keeps popping images of them doing the exact same thing only to end it with a kiss.

‘What?’

‘With Bryan, the guy you did all that other stuff with?’

‘Oh no, me and Bryan – we were never together like that.’ Back at the hotel room, Eddie figured that that was a ploy to distract Bev, something Richie just said because he couldn’t comfortably admit the real intent of their relationship. But he’s never lied to Eddie, and his eyes, magnified by his glasses, seem so sincere, Eddie has no other option but to believe him. ‘I-I’m- some other guy already has that place all taken up.’

Eddie stupid, oblivious and dense and everything in between. He knows Richie isn’t talking about him, he knows he could never be the guy Richie would hold all hope out for – he also secretly hopes it’s none of the losers -, but he wants to be so bad. Just one time, just one kiss and he’d be sated enough to let go of his feral behavior towards any potential love interest Richie might have. Just one time.

‘Richie’, Eddie starts, biting his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. He’s taking a huge risk, by foreseeing a rejection but hoping that Richie won’t drop him as a friend because of this. If Eddie doesn’t do this, he’ll never stop wondering what it feels for their lips to meet. He’ll never get over Richie because he never got to experience any with him.

‘Can I kiss you?’ He risks releasing his lip.

Richie is visibly shocked. ‘What? What the fuck? Eddie is this a joke?’

The joke is, as usual, all on Eddie who regrets ever opening his mouth in the first place. He could try to laugh it off, say that it was a joke, but that would mean that he pretends to make a jest out of something Richie has struggled with for his entire life. He’s stuck between a rock and a hard place. Left with no other options but to further dig his own grave, Eddie decides to be honest. At least that means he gets to keep part of his integrity.

‘No Richie of course not, I wouldn’t do that to you. I’m sorry. Look I like you but it’s obviously one sided and I just wanted to know what it felt like to kiss you but it was a stupid request and I shouldn’t have asked you that. Oh god, I never even asked if you were dating someone –‘

‘Eds?’

‘- Fuck can we please forget I said anything so we can still hang out?’

‘Eddie?’

‘What?’

‘Yes. Please kiss me.’

Eddie gapes with his mouth open, struggling for breath and for words. He’s half convinced he misinterpreted the words, but his tilted head proves otherwise. Eddie doesn’t question it further, counting his lucky start for once, and leaning in to his emotions and Richie, breaching the water to get to him.

Their kiss is surprisingly gentle for the ungovernable lead up prior to it. Richie’s lips taste like lake water, but deeper underneath lies a tang of something distinctively Richie. Eddie can’t wait to devour him whole once he’s cleaned up. Their lips move together in tandem, a perfect harmony that for once neither are willing to break.

They pull back, Richie’s arms circling Eddie’s waist, and he smiles. His smile mixed with the love stricken gleam in his eyes, mysteriously tells Eddie that Richie feels the exact same way he does. His chest caves with happiness.

‘I like you too, if it wasn’t obvious. A lot more than Bryan.’

‘For the love of God can we never mention that again? It’s embarrassing. No, Hush’, Eddie says urgently, covering Richie’s mouth with his palm when he opens his mouth to conjure up another joke.

‘Fine,’ Richie says while pulling away from Eddie’s hand. ‘How about we talk about something else then? How the fuck are we supposed to get to our clothes?’

#my writing #reddie imagine #reddie fic #reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrack #richie and eddie #adult losers #it chapter two imagine #eddie x richie

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bittersweethue · 4 years ago

Text

The best of the best yet (well for me anyways). Seventeen AU recommendations.

Notes

Of course all of this has smut. I won’t be me if this did not have smut.

The titles also contain the links. Idk why I felt the need to say that.

CHEOLSOO ( Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups / Hong Jisoo | Joshua)

Call me an amenity

By: brightlight

Summary:

Seungcheol typically doesn't form relationships when he's travelling on business. (But then again, most people aren't Joshua Hong.)

Feels:

Wow. This just. WOW.

I’ve never read a cheolsoo fic this good and raw and emotionally straining. Pining. Of course there’s pining. Their emotions will consume you and leave you sobbing.

This is just a long distance ‘relationship’ esque fic basically. That will make you sad and yearn for the same thing too. (Pinagtagpo pero di tidahana sht)

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11891772

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JICHEOL (Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups / Lee Jihoon | Woozi )

Busan 112

By: Hakovftw

Summary:

Jihoon’s been at Busan Police station for three years, and he still gets mistaken as a kid dressing up for Halloween.

It’s so fucking unfair.

Jihoon’s not jealous. He’s just angry that the meritocracy is failing him.

And what makes this worse, what makes this harder to bear, is that Seungcheol is hot as hell ans looks fucking amazing in his police uniform.

It’s his only saving grace, Jihoon thinks.

Feels:

Absolutely love it. There is so much pining and slow burn and pINING I COULD YEET MYSELF OFF A CLIFF.

I always love AUs wherein the author doesn’t rush the pining process? It makes everything flow and feel real. The slow burn is absolutely amazing and WORTH IT.

Link: (It’s not up anymore, but hoping that the author will put it up again in their other account, wtfkovah)

We were two before our time

By: wtfkovah

Summary:

Jihoon, an Omega, with little social standing, poor familial associations and hardly a tuppence to his name finds honest work as a teacher. His break with the norm results in a broken courtship, and the heartache and financial strain that follow send him south for the summer season, to teach Hansol, the youngest son of the Choi family.

Feels:

I am absolutely so so in love with this. A very very dear favorite? It’s a historical au and I have always loved those. And it being an ABO fic is just *chef’s kiss*. The way it was written is very historical-y too, the words and flow and all.

The pining is spot on, and Ji is so damn relatable in all situations. Cheol’s wooing is so adorable. Everything is so steamy and full of want holy sh-

JUST READ IT, PLEASE PLEASE.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24308842

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JUNHAO (Wen Jun Hui | Jun / Xu Ming Hao | The8)

every chance I get (I'll turn you on)

By: xumyuho

Summary:

Minghao is a kid with miserable talents at choice making and a lot of feelings. Wen Junhui is the hot graduate who he's sleeping with and has most of those feelings for.

Everything about his life is confusing, but at least the sex is great.

Feels:

One of the first fics that I have read. Dunno why I had to mention that.

The way it was written was so realistic, like you forget that you are actually reading. It’s like the words just fly off and you see everything so clearly with how it was written.

The pining? Perfection. The feels? YES. Can’t say more because I might end up spoiling it. Fuck buddy pining perfection.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5359739

you must have been very far

By: jeosheo

Summary:

Junhui isn’t nearly as drunk as his friends; unfortunately, they’re the ones selecting his punishment for having lost miserably at this party game.

“Kiss someone,” Seokmin slurrily suggests.

“Hook up with someone!” Jeonghan corrects.

“With Minghao!”

Feels:

Nothing has beat this yet. NOTHING. My absolute favorite fic about Seventeen.

The writing style confused me at first, but you’ll get the hang of it. Jun basically does not know what he feels and just chalk’s up everything to awkwardness. This is a fic where someone pines after someone without knowing it.

Idk why but it broke me. All I know is I read this at midnight and fell asleep crying. I was an emotional mess for days after it.

(Ah maybe it’s because of how precious someone could be when they get what they deserve, even if they think they don’t deserve it.)

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6880459

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WONHUI (Jeon Wonwoo / Wen Jun Hui | Jun)

No Amount of Words (Mother Tongue)

By: rapgodwoozi

Summary:

The last thing Junhui is expecting when he boards a train bound for Amsterdam is to fall in love.

Feels:

This is what love feels like in the movies but also not like in the movies. Willing to risk it all, questioning yourself, thinking if you deserve to be happy.

I really love how everything is emotionally straining. Main thought here is “so-this-is-what-it-feels-like-to-fall-in-love-slowly-but-also-all-at-once”.

Couldn’t read it all at once because of how consuming the emotions are. It’s that straining and the amount of uncertainty and flowery sappy sht will choke you.

GyuHao is also an adorable side pairing here.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20018710

Sweet Devotion

By: Swanny_Writer

Summary:

Wonwoo meets his soulmate at a party, but the omega disappears the following morning.

Junhui meets his soulmate at a party, but holding a huge secret, he can't let the alpha claim him.

(Or the one where WonHui meet at another masquerade ball. They also have a kid and eat lots of cakes)

Feels:

Soft Junhui. Cute Junhui. Baby Junhui with a babie. FLUFF JUNHUIII!

Idk wonu is so adorable here, so cute and so caring. A feel good fic + smut.

But its more than the smut okay? Read it if you want to feel uwu.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22283092

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GYUHAO ( Kim Mingyu / Xu Ming Hao | The8 )

Actually both fics belong into the same series entitled we, as fruitful youth and I only realized this after months, what in the heck.

(may the sun kiss you) unconditional

By: xumyuho

Summary:

Mingyu doesn't need to be right, he just wants to win. Or, more specifically, he just wants Minghao to say "I lose."

Feels:

Forgot the title and all due to reading so many fics but I have always remembered the flower giving part. That made me cri in fluff.

Another ‘so-this-is-what-love-feels-like’ + ‘finding-home-in-a-person’ kind of fic. That kind of uwu.

Trying to learn so much about the other and loving them more and more throughout the process. This is so beautiful and real, imma cri.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9167740

Just need one night (slightly more if it's done right)

By: xumyuho

Summary:

“I like it like this, even without the slow-dancing and flowers.”

“Good. I’m never doing slow-dancing or flowers.”

Feels:

Holy sht this is so awkward and real and it made me realize that all relationships are like this, awkward and weird yet still full of talking, and emotions and fuck ups and IDKKK I love how realistic everything was.

It’s not the typical ‘he-is-the-moon-and-perfect-and-I-would-die-for-him-if-I-could’ type of story and that makes it so refreshing.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6448174

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JEONGCHEOL ( Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups / Yoon Jeonghan)

Gay Chicken

By: twinklingpaopufruit

Summary:

Jisoo explains to Seungcheol and Jeonghan the concept of gay chicken.

Feels:

Is this a novel??? It’s just that kind of fic.

Jeongcheol want + uncertainty + fluff + smut goodness. This is so so good.

You can actually imagine all this pining and amazingness happening because of how close to their own known characters Jeongcheol is here. Like all the details we know of them, how they think, how they move, how they feel and act, this fic is faithful to it.

The kind of fic also where you realize that Jeongcheol is the king of ships, and how all of us want to either date them, or be them. THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6675838

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JOSHUA + Everyone

Good Things (Are Supposed To) Come In Threes

By: SandyRoses

Summary:

In a world where being away from your mates for too long causes physical and emotional pain, Joshua doesn't think he has it easy. He can't remember the last time he, Jeonghan, and Seungcheol just sat and cuddled. It's beginning to hurt, and he doesn't know how much longer he can handle being alone. He doesn't want to be alone.

All he wants to do is be held and loved. Slowly, he begins to think he isn't worth loving.

His friends love him, and they just want to take care of him. Slowly, they start to do both in more ways than one.

Feels:

It’s basically OT12 loving Joshuji. ABO. JeongCheol are irresponsible jerks to their mate and a shtshow ensues.

Glorious. Very emotional and heartbreaking but it get’s better in the end I promise.

Could not read it all at once. It’s that draining and consuming. It will consume you to the point that you will feel all the feelings of Shua, all the self doubt and yearning for something that you think you don’t deserve.

But Shua deserves all the damn love and happiness in the world.

Read this is you want to feel empty right after and if you are okay with the warning.

Warnings: Talks about rape (reliving a rape scene). Slight dubious consent.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17302151

#seventeen fic recs #ao3 #the ultimates #i think im using blockquotes in a wrong way #im sorry #SEVENTEEN master fic rec list

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solarpire · 4 years ago

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I'm going to stream a game on friday!

But I cant decide which game I want to play. So here's a list! Please reblog or reply to this post with which game(s) you'd be interested in seeing :3

GAMES I HAVE NOT PLAYED

Soma - under water story driven horror game, played a little a year ago and it looked super cool. It has a mode where you cant die which is great for me because I love horror but I am a MASSIVE wimp (cw: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/17000 )

We went back - puzzle driven horror game in space, takes place in one hallway that loops endlessly. Really cool concept, and I always love a good space game (cw: from what I could gather from the trailer, there is light scopophobia, some violence, and body horror for the monster, but I could not find a full content warning list)

Sherlock holmes: crimes and punishments - choice based mystery game. I dont know like. Anything about it but justin mcelroy rated it 8/10 (cw: from what I saw in the trailer there is light gore, murder, bruising, alcohol, and some guns, but I could not find a full content warning list)

GAMES I HAVE PLAYED

Portal 2 - science puzzles and bastard little robots. I have memorized almost every puzzle and every time I play through I see if I can do it faster than the last time (cw: characters being rude to the main character, calling her fat, teasing her for being adopted/parents not loving her, saying shes smart for someone with brain damage, called a monster, called stupid. Most of these things do not actually apply to her and are just lightly joked about, but still happen frequently)

Portal stories mel - harder puzzles and GAY little robots. Very entertaining, and I dont think I've gotten all the trophies yet (cw: risk of electrocution, very vague spider imagery(made up of shadows and machinery, no actual spiders), character clearly trying to deceive the main character for a while in the beginning )

Tacoma - story driven spaceship game. It's mostly you just figuring out what happened on the spaceship tacoma. Has cute gays and sign language and a really cool game mechanic to see the history of the ship. I absolutely need to replay it at some point (cw: panic attacks, brief sexual content(no sex scenes) ai manipulation)

Gravitas - kinda like portal, but very short and much more comedic. It's cute and I wouldn't mind playing it again (cw: I think theres one joke about penguins dying)

Smile for me - comedy/slight horror puzzle game. You have to go around the habitat and find a way to make everyone happy again. This game is adorable and funny and creepy and I love it to death. If I play this one I get to do fun voices for all the characters. Also dr habit is prebby 😳 (cw: dental trauma, brief parental abuse heavily implied, occasional photorealistic bodyparts(not gore), light body horror, drug use, smoking and drinking, a clown. No jumpscares, but some scenes that make you think there will be. Woozy effect on camera commonly used)

Close to the sun - story driven horror puzzle game. Takes place on a giant ocean ship where you explore the work of nikola tesla while you search for your sister. The aesthetic is like a steampunk/great gatsby mix. It's on the shorter side, but it's a lot of fun and very nice to look at (cw:heavy gore and violence from both monsters and humans, panic attacks, chase scenes, a character is burned alive, one jumpscare, decomposing and mutilated bodies, major character death)

Please let me know what you would like to see!! I havent decided on a time to start yet, but it will be between 5:00pm - 3:00am CST!

#video games #streaming #portal #soma #smile for me #gravitas #close to the sun #tacoma #portal 2 #portal stories: mel #sherlock holmes: crimes and punishments #we went back

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earthtocaptainsky · 4 years ago

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15 questions 15 people

I was tagged by @banhmi07 thank you love 💜💕

Nicknames: Sky, Suni, and only Suni, calls me angel 💖

Zodiac: Aries

Height: 5'5" I'm Woozi size 😂

Last thing I googled: 1the9 so i could tag my Jinsung pic, I can't remember last names ever lol

Song stuck in my head: the stupid Soobin Dolphin cover it's just DA DA DA DA DA-DADA DADADA save me

Number of followers: 315 here, 202 on Instagram, and 471 on tiktok, so 988 total oh wow :O I didn't realize I had that many

Amount of sleep: on average about 8 hours but I took the lovely sleep medicine and slept for almost 12 hours last night

Lucky number: I don't have one

Favorite song: Pretty Please by Jackson Wang or Pretty Boy by Taemin

Favorite instrument: I think the violin is pretty cool

Dream job: some type of illustrator or concept artist but like specifically for SuperM or The Boyz

Aesthetic: astrological, nautical, and cute pastel. You bet I loved TXT's starry sailor photoshoot

Favorite author: honestly I don't have a favorite author, I really like Terry Goodkind and Rick Riordan tho

Favorite animal noise: cat meows 🥰

Random: I recently got told my art and I are intimidating??? I'm like 2 gremlins made of memes stuffed in a trenchcoat of gay panic and anxiety I don't understAnd 😂😭😂

I tag ignoremetaggingsomepeopleidontknowbci'mshyandidon'ttalktoalotofpeople: @juicykyun @bacon-notbaekhyun-jaehyun-mingyu @in-out-mp3 @dingdonghun @kaiternity @tytrack @haknew @honeyboyfelix @juric @aesthetic-mendes1998x @lookin-for-astro-mutuals @skrrtpullupinthecoupe @qahwa-chai-coffee @donghun-is-my-wife @eunwoosan

And anyone else who wants to do it!

#tag post #not art #im so sorry if you didn't want to be tagged

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17hateblog · 4 years ago

Note

Ok. I am not new to Seventeen, I have a vague memory of their debut. Great kids, talented people. But, I know nothing about them. Could you describe them for me? Like, sell me this group so I can finally fully stan.

This must be a really late reply, sorry! Where do I even begin...

So first we have their music! Even though they’ve been a group for 5 years, they still manage to keep their signature sound which is fun and fresh (that’s why they’re known as freshteen). They manage to branch out into other concepts but they’ll always make music that goes back to their roots. Also, they have a lot of great lyrics (Can’t See the End and Still Lonely being some of my faves) that can resonate with a lot of people!

If you want to know more about the members, that would take a long time and I think showing you would be better than trying to explain so I would recommend watching Going Seventeen or One Fine Day! That said I’ll go through each member!

Coups: Say what you want about horoscopes, but he is such a Leo!

Jeonghan: Really clever! Could probably successfully change his entire identity and get away with it.

Joshua: You can take the boy out of California but you can’t take the California out of the boy.

Jun: Pledis saw him and was like “oh, pretty boy, let’s hate on him.” He’s so funny and talented and popular but pledis pretends that they didn’t see anything!

Hoshi: The most extroverted introvert ever. People call him a furry. 🐯

Wonwoo: He’s the guy from the coffee shop au.

Woozi: Always working on new music. Pledis would probably sit outside his house crying, if he were to ever leave the company.

Dk: He’s always 😀😃😄😁😆 but he’s also quite emotional so sometimes he’s 😁😭. Wouldn’t be surprised if he owned a live, love, laugh poster.

Mingyu: One time seungkwan talked about how since Mingyu is the visual, he has more restrictions so he can’t fully be himself. And so now I think about this all the time. Like...hot people should be allowed to be funny too 😔 His pretty privilege wasn’t a privilege this time around.

The8: Does it for the girls and the gays. He breathes and the audience applauds. Very artsy, but not in a stuck up sort of way.

Seungkwan: Not only a vocal legend but the one that helps put food on the table. He’s so funny that he’s constantly appearing on variety shows and spreading the svt agenda

Hansol: physically he is living in 2020, but mentally he is in 3030

Dino: waiting for his solo album. He has it all but pledis just sleeps 😴😴😴

#typed almost everything and then the page closed :))) so i had to restart :)))))#i could say more but idk im too late answering this :/#mail

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green-ball-of-trash · 5 years ago

Text

Roman in The Closet by Himself!! Part 1

word count: 2202

ship: Prinxiety, Background Logicality, Background Remile, vaguely mention Demus.

part1/part2/part3/part4/?

WARNINGS: self deprecation, depression, repression, non-censored cursing, the word wh*re is used and it not censored, lgbtq+phobia is mentioned in this chapter but not directed at any of the characters.

summary: Roman has a rough journey with his sexuality, and his crush on a certain little emo~

Roman had always been enraptured with the concept of love. He could remember watching Disney movies when he was younger, where the prince rescues the princess and they both live happily ever after.

Although, he was never really focused on the princess of the story but more so on they heroic prince. He always thought that Prince Phillip was so much more interesting than Arora, but his little child mind couldn’t understand nor explain why that was.

Until he was ten years old~

He had been looking at Disney videos on his ipad, when he discovered a peculiar video with a rainbow flag in the thumbnail. He thought that all the colors on the flag looked pretty, so he decided to click on it.

He heard phrases in the video that he had never heard before, such as; gay, trans, homosexaul, bisexual, pansexual, and so many more and he had absolutely no idea what they meant. Even though he had no clue, he watched the entire video. After the video was over, he got out his red notebook with Disney stickers plastered haphazardly all over the front and back cover.

He decided to rewatch the video again and write down any words that he didn’t understand, and look them up after he was finished. Logan is gonna be so proud of me, he had said to himself thinking of his quiet nerdy best friend.

He spent the entire day learning things like pride, non-bianary, gender fluid, and more. He felt like he had opened his eyes to a completely new world and he was so excited about it. He had no idea there were so many different types of amazing people. He was so… Excited!

His parents were busy with work downstairs, and his brother was over at a friends house so he took it upon himself to spend his entire day learning and watching videos on this community of people. It was impossible to learn everything in a day, but he was determined to try.

He listened to and read people’s stories on the internet, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t cry. Why were people so mean to them? He had asked himself, why are there so many mean people in the world? They were just being themselves, why couldn’t people just be proud of them? What Roman didn’t know at the time, is that he would have a few stories of his own like that in the future.

A few weeks later, he was on the swings with his best friend Logan. Swinging back and forth with the breeze as they talked about anything and everything, non-sense and Disney, jokes and laughter, serious topics and funny stories, until Roman decided to bring up some of the stuff he had learned to his friend. He kicked his legs back and forth carelessly as he spoke, “hey, Lo?” Logan had looked at him, as Logan wasn’t swinging nearly as much as Roman was but more just drifting to and fro with the wind as he talked with his flamboyant best friend, “yeah Ro?”

Roman grinned for a minute before speaking, “have you heard of LGBTQ+?”

Logan had nodded at his question, “yeah, my dads talk about it all the time.” He said in a nonchalant manner. Roman groaned, frustrated “AWWW, I thought I learned about something that you didn’t..” Roman stopped his swinging, skidding his bright red shoes across the ground to stop himself.

Logan chuckled and pushes up his glasses, “sorry Ro, but I know everything.”

Roman stared at Logan throwing his hands about as he spoke, “that's not fair.” he said the last word dragging it out like it was the end of the world.

Roman had met Logan’s dads before, yet he never knew what LQBTQ+ meant and he didn’t know that a lot of people thought it was a bad thing. He thought it was awesome that Logan’s dads loved each other, even before he knew that they loved each other if that made any sense. To Roman it made complete sense in his ten year old mind.

Roman then got an idea, “Hey Logan, there was some things I didn’t understand when I was lookin’ up stuff about it. Do you think you could answer some of my questions?”

Logan looked a little excited to teach Roman, and they spent the rest of the time on the swings not swinging but talking. Talking about something that would be very important to them one day.

7 years later~

Roman was seventeen, and he was the most popular kid in his highschool, everyone had taken a liking to his outgoing nature. His best friends Logan, Patton, and Virgil were popular right along with him. There was only one thing that bothered Roman, his sexuality. He was terrified, from the bottom of his heart he was terrified because ne knew that he was not straight in any sense of the term. He was as curved as a rollercoaster and the ride made him feel woozy and nauseous.

He knew that the vast majority of his school would hate him for being the way he was, so you know what he did? Like the scared little closeted boy he was he ran into the deepest corner of that closet and hid like a little toddler in hide and seek, only he wasn’t a toddler and this wasn’t hide and seek, this was hide for your life. At least that was what it had felt like to him.

He knew that his friend would accept him, since Patton had come out to them in freshman year as Pan to him, Logan, and Virgil, it had lead to Logan coming out to them as gay demisexual, and then a year later in there sophmore Virgil coming out to them as gay. They promised to support each other and never ever tell anyone else. It was like their own little pride group, only Roman was an ally… Or so the others had thought.

Roman knew that they would accept him. Of all people who knew that he could come out to them, and it was okay. But his heart leapt up into his throat and his knees buckled and the mere thought of it. He could just imagine their judgemental glances, thinking he was only saying it because he wanted to feel included, “you’re not really gay.” He would imagine them saying, “are you doing this for attention?” “if you were gay then why have you been telling us about all your straight crushes for years?” He had made up crushes to stay in the closet “you’re so dramatic! Just shut up and we can forget you even tried to pull off this whole charade.”

I part of him knew they would never do that, but it was a very small part of him, it was like a tiny ball of light shining in the darkness of self deprecation that he had created within himself. He pretended to be so confident, he was a great actor ‘but that was the only thing he was great at’ He would say to himself like a father scolding a child for doing something wrong, only the child was priding within himself and the father was a cold old man with no joy and wanted his son to live a dry cold life never thinking higher than an inch of himself.

“Princey? You okay there?...” he hadn’t noticed that he had started to zone out with another one of his spirals into the dark clouded space that was his mind. ‘No’ he said to himself and only himself. Virgil would think he was such an attention seeking whore if he ever told him anything that went on in his head, “I’m fit as a fiddle Hottopic, sorry I zoned out, I was just thinking about Valerie. Her hair looked so pretty today.” He said with a smile that didn’t seem to reach his eyes. Valerie was amazing, she was really fun to hang out with and yes her hair actually did look pretty today but to Roman he felt nothing but platonic love for her. And when he would pretend to have a crush on her, especially to one of his best friends….. He felt as though someone was stabbing a knife into his heart, his weak little heart that throbbed at anything and everything. He was so weak he would tell himself. His heart was a bruised and pin pricked as a baby rabbit that got into a fight with a porcupine, and oh how his heart loved to jump and do summersaults like the little rabbit it was in the presence of the emo sitting next to him.

But the thing was it hurt so so much worse when he lied to Virgil. Virgil was so caring, he was kind to all of them, and he loved hanging out with him. Virgil was just so funny, and cute, and smart, and handsome, and- he stopped his thoughts, halting them and pushing them as far back into his mind as they would go. It was getting a lot harder to get rid of them lately. Virgil got a sad sort of look in his eyes but Roman didn’t notice, he was to busy gay panicing. “Thats sweet Roman. You two would be cute together ...” Virgil trailed off, sort of spacing out himself as Roman had just a few moments ago.

Roman clapped his hands together and stood up with a plastered smile on his face, startling Virgil almost knocking him off the bench that they had been sitting on. They were at the park, just talking. Roman turned toward Virgil and uttered a quick apology before spilling his idea to his monochromatic friend, “We should go get ice cream!!” Virgil chuckled at Roman’s excitement, and blushed under his porcelain foundation, “sure thing, if you promise to stop yelling” Virgil pulled on his hoodie strings, “people are starting to stare.” he said the last part with breathless sort of panicked whisper only loud enough just for Roman to catch it.

They spent the rest of the day just walking around town, laughing and enjoying the company of one another. Roman’s little heart jumped into his throat everytime he heard that beautiful laugh of Virgil’s, it was like looking at the sky and letting the sun hit your face. You can’t open your eyes and look directly at it though, because you might go blind at its unending beauty. Even if Virgil didn’t think so, he was the sun, the moon, the stars, and the clouds all bundled up in one amazing person and oh how he shined.

He was always there when you needed him and he was the most hard working person Roman knew, even if Virgil ran into days where he couldn’t even speak because of his anxiety disorder Roman thought he was so strong to have even got out of bed on those days. And he made sure to tell Virgil how strong he was everyday, and if Virgil couldn’t find his voice that day. Roman would speak for him to faceless strangers at school who wanted to speak with Virgil, although Logan and Patton would do that as well, it seemed to have affected Virgil more when Roman did it. It made Virgil feel warm and gooey on the inside, feelings that someone with a hard emo persona like his should never let themselves have but he had them and he loved how they made him feel. But he could never feel that about Roman, because Roman would never feel that way about him and that wasn’t something that he could change and that was just the way the world had to fuck him over.

The universe had made a little emo gay boy who was obsessed with My Chemical Romance and black eyeshadow, fall in love with his straight best friend. What a painful story trope. Only his best friend wasn’t actually straight, a fact that he was oblivious to, and this wasn’t a cheesy romance story this was their lives. Virgil looked down at hits ice cream, enjoying the treat quietly as he listened to Roman gush and rant about Hamilton or whatever musical he had decided to talk about.

They had arrived at Virgil’s house and said their goodbyes, with halfwitted insults with no venom in the words. It was their usual routine and they were both content with the way their relationship was. But they were just content, both of them wanted more but they would never admit that to themselves or each other. Roman walked home, with everything swirling around in his head and he laughed with a sort of dark emptiness. What a day.

To be continued~

OH MY GOSH THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE!!! Idk how much fun it was to read or how many people will actually read it, but I hope at least a few people enjoy it. this first part was out earlier than I had expected! When I get the next part out then I will link it on this part and tag anyone who wants to know when it comes out. I hope you enjoyed~ my friend that pitched me some ideas: @akane-mukami she is amazing and beautiful please go show her some love!

taglist:

@mostpeopleannoyne

@www-dot-ohshit-dot-com

@icequeenoriginal

@espepspes

@rats-this-username-is-taken

Green~~

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rcultado · 4 years ago

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Reborn: Betony Vernon Cover Story

When Betony Vernon talks, you get the impression that she is sometimes speaking in capital letters. Listening to her, you question quietly and try to keep up. Is it sex she’s talking about, or big letter S Sex? When she touches on the people who paved they way for her, is it her teachers, or the more ominous Teachers? On the many taboos we collectively tiptoe around as a society, you wonder if it’s pleasure or Pleasure? Run-of-the-mill puppy love or big L Love? This is important to decipher. Like keys, it unlocks your understanding of certain concepts and primes you to her universe: one where nothing is taken for granted, where everything is sacred.

Designer, author, therapist. Betony Vernon, with her flaming red hair and flowing silky robes, is a textbook Renaissance woman. Her many endeavors seemingly rooted and closely knit by one running thread, sex. Sexology. She defines it as the understanding of the sexual being and the research around it. For her, it has been a 30-year course, one that she is still enrolled in. “The sexual realm is always evolving, and us with it. It’s political, social, it’s as much physical as it is spiritual,” she says.

Spiritual sex, huh. It might sound iffy, but if you have been lurking in the right side of the Internet, you would know that there is a resurgence of new age philosophy, a wave of urban witches comparing zodiac birth charts, collecting crystal trinkets, and practicing sex magick. This is the process of building sexual energy and using it to ground your manifestation. For Vernon of course this is not news. “In Tantra, orgasm is regarded to be the closest thing we can get to the divine,” she shares. “Our Asian forefathers understood the power of sex. Skilled love-making being one of the many doors to enlightenment.”

If you find this spiritual talk a bit woozy, Vernon also tethers it to a religion even the most doubtful among us tends to subscribe to — hard science. “When we are sharing our intimate space with someone we are connected to, our bodies start to emit certain hormones. Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, beta-endorphins,” she asserts. “It’s like heroin, but it’s coming from within you,” she continues.

The erotic offers a well of replenishing and provocative force to the woman who does not fear its revelation, according to Audre Lorde in The Uses of the Erotic. Vernon calls this tapping into the Body Pharmacy. “When we have sexual relations with someone, and there’s something behind it, something driving it, you feel more connected to this person. All the more these hormones are going to be produced,” she points out. “This chemical power of desire, it’s a real feel good pharmacy. This is also why when people don’t tap into this side of their lives, when they forget about their sexuality, or push it aside, or repress their desires, it creates a void, a frustration.”

Turns out, that girl hitting you up only during the full moon is not very far off. And she might appreciate Betony Vernon’s line of erotic jewelry, one in particular: a necklace equipped with a tiny vessel container. It comes with a small pad paper, on which you write your manifestation before rolling it up and putting it inside the pendant. All this done pre coitus, this piece of jewelry you wear in situ, and makes your love making more directed, your sex magick more potent. If that does not work, you can always opt for her silver Petting Ring (worn by Christina Aguilera, Bionic era!), a luxe collar choker, or one of her feathery things, to tickle, to caress, to enchant.

Vernon’s jewelry line has not always been this explicitly erotic. In the 90s, she was making jewelry stocked at Barney’s in New York, Kashiyama in Japan, and Liberty in London. Often she would try to sneak in a mildly erotic piece into their selection, it would be flagged and withdrawn. In 2001, after a post 9/11 jolt to her psyche, Vernon decides to make sado-chic pieces exclusively. “I refused to make anything else that does not have to do with enhanced sexual wellness. Objects that have a function beyond being pieces of jewelry,” she shares. By eliminating all the pieces outside the erotic collection, she lost all the biggest retailers buying from her. “They freaked out. But I realized that if you hit a nerve, there must be something valid in what you’re doing.”

When a door closes, several others open. What she lost in prestigious department store real estate, she gained in the confidence of several private clients, a roster that is growing to this day. Vernon welcomes them, strictly by appointment, in her showroom atelier in the Marais, in Paris. All green velvet, it feels like being on the inside of a jewelry box. Meta and apt, sure, but also stunning and opulent. From making the huge leap of faith to landing here in this beautiful space, Vernon must have done many things right. “I knew from the start that with this erotic collection, I need to do a Boudoir Box. Because I knew that my clients would want to have several pieces, house their collection, and I would need to lug it around and show it to people,” she notes. “I knew I needed to be an educator.”

And an educator she became. Vernon arranged sexual wellness salons (attended by a diverse public ranging from jittery gay boys to seasoned S&M enthusiasts), guided self-hypnosis sessions (one wherein she marries you to yourself, in a state of trance, fostering self-love, esteem, and trust in oneself), and writing a definitive sex guide for today called The Boudoir Bible (available in English, French, Czech, Polish, Russian, Chinese, and Portuguese, with several foreign editions in the works.) “I needed to write it, I needed to be understood, because if not I would not be able to continue with any of the design work,” Vernon explains. “My goal with the book is to dismantle the pleasure taboo. Pleasure is a bond, it connects us, it ties us together,” she elaborates, smiling, before continuing, “You know what’s another taboo? Love.”

What about love? (Or is it Love?) “It’s not something that is not on the menu nowadays. Love is something that was kind of used against us, and it’s just like we weren’t given the keys to our own house.” Vernon affirms that our society is in such bad shape because very basic keys were denied us. “It’s a social sin. Denying people the keys to themselves.”

When asked about the future, Vernon claims that who ever emerges from this pandemic would experience a rebirth. “The future has a very little to do with pre-Covid reality,” she notes. “We have to really tap into our incredible neuroplasticity and rewire our brains to design the future that we deserve. Because it’s not going to happen from the top down. We have to stay in the light and see through this awakening.”

Reborn. Which incidentally is also the theme of this issue. We shared about our reservations, how the fashion industry is the second most polluting one after petroleum, how disheartening it is to be walked through the back doors and to see that everything’s a mess. “Then maybe you’re the response,” Vernon points out. Standing in the light is seeking the truth, demanding it as much from the politicians governing us as the food we put on our plates. “At this point, everything you do is activism. From what you put on your face to what you choose to eat. The future is real. Literally. To ensure that everything we consume is truthful is to be a part of this new wave of awakening.”

There are many paths going to achieve this prise de conscience, and as the French like to say: tous les moyens sont bons. We try to get there by any means possible. Go get tied with ropes and hang upside down from the ceiling, activating your body’s theta frequency. Let your dinner plate or your bed be the place of the revolution. Feel everything. Or just go through the world, humming silently with the power of deeply knowing yourself. We are sure of one thing though. Betony Vernon is our Woman. Yes, big letter W Woman.

Originally published on Magazine Uniform No 3

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cheonsadoong · 7 years ago

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100 KPOP asks

because @mystifiedxmuses decided to torture me LOL

When did you first get into kpop?

It was a fine summer day in 2009

Who was your first ultimate bias?

Well, Sandara Park

Who is your current ultimate bias?

Hahaha! Park Sanghyun, her brother

Any now disbanded groups you’d bring back?

BRUH MBLAQ 2NE1 SISTAR

What was the first artist/group you liked?

2ne1

How did you get into kpop?

been always a fan of Dara since her PH days. Then one day my sister sent me a youtube link to 2ne1′s MV she was like, “Look it’s Sandy!”

Thoughts on BTS?

they are dope but i don’t follow or stan them. Their reputation sure precedes them but i’m not really interested. I really like V’s voice tho It’s literally sex.

Favourite girl group?

duhhhhh 2ne1! well recently i’ve been stanning MAMAMOO bewm

Favourite boy group?

DUUUUHHHH Hahaha! hmm idk. i’m still crying over MBLAQ. But Day6 and HyukOh songs are always on repeat in my playlist

Thoughts on EXO?

Why yes They’re the father of 3rd Generation KPOP. aka KINGS

Who do you stan right now?

MAMAMOO and IU and WINNER and DARA

What’s your favourite kpop ship?

total trash for NyongDal

Thoughts on Twice?

I loved their debut song and i hated Cheer Up LOL and TT. They’re too cute and cheesy for my taste but they’re okay I don’t hate them.

If you could join any k-pop group, which and why?

Blackpink (?) I actually had a dream i was signing a contract for YG and I am literally sure I was sitting next to Jennie while signing LMAO

Give an unpopular opinion about something kpop related?

KPOP is actually about the music

Thoughts on red-velvet?

HAHAHAHA! I’m sorry I cringe every time i hear Happiness

Favourite solo artist?

IU! IU IU IU IU and Ailee Ailee Ailee Aileeee

Favourite female idol?

hmm I feel like my answer here shouldn’t be IU.

Favourite male idol?

Why my main muse himself yes!

Most underrated idol in your opinion?

in all the groups i follow i don’t think there’s any one more underrated than MBLAQ. Their agency just literally disappeared that’s why they disbanded and nobody’s talking about it.

Which groups do you find are overrated?

I do sometimes find 2ne1 overrated

Any groups you dislike?

Red Velvet. HAHA but i’m more open minded towards them now. They have better songs nowadays

Own any merch? if so, what?

I got a daisy keychain from Taeyang’s White Night concert! -w-

Thoughts on Seventeen?

I love Woozi idk why. I don’t even follow seventeen! Maybe because he ish shmol

If you could date one idol, who would it be and why?

LMAO definitely Woozi. Or AKMU’s Chanhyuk. BUT BRUH PARK SANGHYUN BECAUSE LOOK AT HIM

Can you speak korean?

hmmm can’t really say I can... but I do.. does that make sense?

Last k-pop MV you watched?

what was it... EXID’s Lady?

Who’s your bias in [Enter group name here]?

(you’re gonna have to help me with this one missy lol; specify)

Any groups you think shouldn’t have debuted at all?

Remember that girl group by J.Tune Camp, TWO X? Yep.

Favourite kpop songs?

bruh please don’t ask me this question. Well... i’ll say what’s no. 1 on my playlist at least. Jonghyun’s Take The Dive

Do you prefer the old generation of kpop, or the new?

definitely the old.

What song do you find the most annoying?

Happiness by Red Velvet HAHAHAHA also... Twice’s TT

What is your most favourite kpop song?

UGH! There’s a lot okay. B( Okay i’ll say, IU’s Dear Name for now

Thoughts on Monsta X?

I did not know they make awesome music. Which is cool

Favourite school themed MV?

uhhh... I can’t remember much. I only remember GFriend’s... i don’t even remember the name of the song anymore LOL

Thoughts on Blackpink?

WHEN WILL THEY COME BACK?

What fandom do you dislike the most and why?

ARMY. Unfortunately most of the immature and ignorant fans KPOP could ever have, became ARMYs and I feel bad to the good ones because they are inevitably affiliated to those kind of fans. Even I myself hates that as a kpop fan.

Would you ever debut in a group if you had the chance?

WHY THE HELL NOT??

Who’s your bias wrecker in [Enter group name here]

again, help me with this one.

Top 10 k-pop songs?

I can’t really decide but I assure you there will be MBLAQ, IU, HyukOh, and Day6

Which MALE group do you think has the best vocal line?

EXO. They have BaekDOChen bruh

Which MALE group do you think has the best rap line?

probably BTS. I’d say EPIK HIGH but then they only got two rappers and one DJ. But STILL. And BIGBANG dude

Are visuals important to you when discovering a new group?

TOTALLY NOT. I need to be lured in with their music

What’s your favourite photo of your ultimate bias?

^ this is currently my DP on my facebook LOL

Your favourite group leader?

Honestly? B.I is the greatest leader I’ve ever seen. I think He singlehandedly created iKon. Yes I think he made iKon. But of course Baby Chae has always been a great momma to 2ne1. Dara relies on her so much although she’s younger.

What song is your guilty pleasure?

I don’t have one?

If you could meet one idol and one idol only, who would it be and why?

Dara. She been my role model since day 1

Would you date you ultimate bias?

heck yes

If you could see one group live who would it be?

I wish it would be 2ne1 but that’s out of the picture now. I feel like if ever IU’s gonna come to my country tho I will freaking cry if I won’t be able to go. I am already pretty much sure she will be my first concert. I’m already shaking

Can you do any k-pop dances?

I.... did. But kpop dance has become too difficult now and I’ve become too lazy to learn any of them anymore TT

Which idol would you love to go on a date with?

Woozi. LOL

What are your thoughts on idolxidol ships?

Please happen

Do you think looks are important in k-pop?

Unfortunately, yes.

What’d your opinion on non-korean idols?

Can I be next? lol jk

Favourite non korean idol?

GOT7′s Jackson

What idol would you like to be bestfriends with?

MBLAQ’s Mireuuuuu

Name 3 of your most disliked groups?

why tho?

which groups do you think deserved better?

wow... MBLAQ and 2ne1 and Blackpink. srsly I think YG is a bad place for Girl Groups. He shouldn’t be debuting girl groups in the first place.

Which concept do you like the most?

Shinee ALWAYS has the best concepts. So did Orange Caramel too. BUt the most recent favorite concept i have was WInner’s Really Really promotion.

Name an underrated solo artist?

Juniel was making a name I wonder where she is now why don’t I hear anything from her anymore? Also, G.Na.

Who is the biggest ____ stan you know?

help?

What was the first kpop MV you watched?

I’m not sure... Wonder Girls’ Nobody or 2ne1′s Fire?

Fuck marry kill, ____, ____ or ____?

yes

Favourite [groupname] MV?

again, yes

Which FEMALE group do you think has the best vocal line?

no doubt, MAMAMOO

Which FEMALE group do you think had the best rap line?

dang... MAMAMOO again

Who is the prettiest female idol in your opinion?

hmmm..... Dara’s beauty has always been timeless. Tho my brother who isn’t a kpop fan going cray over MOMOLAND’s Nancy so I’ll say her. And this isn’t a joke i will totally go gay for CL, Dara, IU, TIffany, Taeyeon, Moonbyul (GAYSHIT BYUL) and Blackpink’s Chaeyoung

Ever written a fanfiction about your favourite idol? if so, what was it about?

HAHAHAHAHAHA YES. I wrote a few fics that I NEVER got to finish. All of them are DARAGON fics except for one which was a THUNDER x IU fic.

Thoughts on mamamoo?

BRUH THEY ARE MAH HEART MAH SOLE MAH BADI

Do you prefer cute or sexy concepts?

I usually don’t like cute concepts. Me liking cute concepts is VERY RARE

If you could say one sentence to your ultimate bias, what would it be?

Dear Dara eonni, PLEASE GET MARRIED

Are you actively trying to learn korean?

Yes...? I can’t say actively tho

Thoughts on Superjunior?

Because I NAUGHTY NAUGHTY on DONGHAE

Which MALE group do you think has the strongest visuals?

pffft easily EXO

Which FEMALE group do you think has the strongest visuals?

TWICE

Which MALE group do you think has the weakest vocal line?

idk because the groups i listen to has strong vocal lines

Which FEMALE group do you think has the weakest vocal line?

idk because the groups i listen to has strong vocal lines

How old were you when you got into kpop?

I was barely thirteen

Do you have any friend at your school/work who are also into kpop?

Yes but no one else is a fan as much as me. ANd you know what? My friends in high school who used to tease me about my kpop are now kpop fans and i’m like, WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO RUDE LETTING ME GO ALONE THRU HIGH SCHOOL. They’re 3rd generation kpop fans now

Do you consider yourself a kpop fan or a kpop STAN?

Is there actually a difference? When and where did the term stan even started?

Do you prefer english songs or kpop songs?

LOL i’ve been listening to so much kpop i’ve come to a point where i literally had no idea what’s going on with the western music

Who is the most handsome male idol in your opinion?

how?

Who is the most overrated idol in your opinion?

Can I say BTS’ Jungkook? idk. LOL because I like V better? LOL

Any groups you think deserved a certain award they didn’t get?

EXO or BAP; Best Rookie award of the year in MAMA 2012 (?) fan wars were happening but the trophy ended up to Busker Busker LOL

Thoughts on fanwars? have you ever contributed in one?

STUPID SHIT EVERYONE IN KPOP DESERVES LOVE AND NOT HATE

Do you agree with saesangs, do you think you’re one yourself?

I can maybe relate to a limited portion of their dedication but really i don’t understand how they can go through all those troubles just to follow their idols everyday. it’s creepy.

Thoughts on koreaboos?

why do they even--

Any kpop songs/groups you cant stand?

yes you guessed right. Happiness and TT. And Cheer Up. A group i can’t stand tho... there’s none.

Favourite maknae?

Hwasa and Seungri

Thoughts on the maknae of [groupname]?

yes

Thoughts on the leader of [groupname]?

yes

Kpop song that’ll never get old?

who will disagree with me on Fantastic Baby?

Ever met a kpop idol/group? if so, who and where?

Noooo i am too underprivileged LOL

Are you planning on seeing a group in concert soon?

unless there’s any news of a world tour from IU

Any groups that haven’t been to your country/state that you’d wish would come?

The whole world is wishing for IU’s World Tour

Most disliked group concept?

can’t really think of one

Thoughts on SNSD?

I don’t dislike them but i can only say i’m a fan of TTS

Favourite 2009 song?

The Leaders from GD album was my anthem those years haha

Any idols that have retired from kpop you wished would come back?

well... Park Bom she hasn’t retired tho has she? it’s vague. she’s not signed into any contracts so i have no idea when will my bomtaro come back

Favourite song by your favourite solo artists?

I already mentioned IU’s so this time i’ll say Ailee’s Symphony (featuring, Chancellor)

#ooc

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theliterateape · 4 years ago

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The Intolerance of Tolerance and Why Being Uncomfortable Sometimes Helps Us All

by Don Hall

"So, where're you from?"

The Asian 22-year old waitress went from pleasant and helpful to instantly indignant as if she were looking to be insulted at a moment's notice.

"America. Why? Do you think assuming I'm from Taiwan or something is somehow cool?"

"No. No. It's Vegas. Everyone is from someplace else. I'm from Chicago."

"There you go. Centering things on you!"

She's getting loud. I notice a guy at the bar staring at us.

"She's just..."

"THEY! My pronouns are they and them!"

"Ok. Ok. Sorry. Maybe you should wear a badge or something..."

"My pronouns are my business. Your privilege is screaming in my face, Mr. White Creepy Old Man!"

"Hold on, please. I get it.

Did you know, back in the forties a dude named Karl Popper posited the "Paradox of Tolerance?" His concept was this:

If everyone is tolerant of every idea, then intolerant ideas will bubble up in the discourse. Tolerant people will then tolerate these intolerant ideas, but the intolerant people will not tolerate the tolerance. Naturally, the intolerant people will create an entire system of intolerance. To maintain a society of tolerance, the tolerant must be intolerant of intolerance."

"What?"

"He suggested the Paradox of Tolerance to explain why a country full of otherwise good people allowed Hitler to come to power and commit so many atrocities. The idea is that it’s acceptable to be an asshole to someone because they, too, are an asshole."

"Are you mansplaining? He's mansplaining me!"

Two more waitresses emerge from the back of the house. One is carrying a pitchfork. The other a Zippo lighter and some coconut husk.

"Here's the problem—it’s not often clear what defines "tolerance" and "intolerance." If a stand up made a joke about the gays in 1992, is that intolerance? If a scientist finds that there are genuine and substantive differences between biological men and biological women, is that intolerance? If an Evangelical Christian avoids an Atheist in public, is that intolerance?

The definition of an intolerant person has become so mushy and swampy that it might as well mean, someone who believes things that make me feel uncomfortable or angry."

I smell something burning. I look down and notice the coconut husks have been tucked into my shoes and my feet are on fire. I start to get up but a pitchfork is suddenly thrust into my right thigh, going through the bone and muscle and then through the chair.

"Ouch! This inevitably devolves into a torrent of cunt-y, self-righteous conduct. Bob decides that Lucy’s behavior is intolerant and a threat to society. Lucy then decides that it is morally correct to be intolerant of Bob and cancel him.

But then, Jared walks by and notices Lucy being a totally intolerant shitstain to Bob. Jared decides that it’s morally correct to be actively intolerant of Lucy. Then Myra skips by, notices Jared being inhumanely intolerant towards Lucy."

The first waitress grabs both sides of my face, her...uh..their face contorted into the cover of Fangoria Magazine and screams in an almost inhuman bloodthirsty screech "WHO THE FUCK IS LUCY???"

"The irony is that in order to practice tolerance, you must be willing to sit with things that you disagree with or make you uncomfortable. Yet, if your ethic is that no one should ever be upset or uncomfortable, then you make any sort of tolerance impossible."

I start to feel woozy as the flames start to crisp up the skin on my legs and the blood loss from the pitchfork is increasing. My cargo shorts flame up and the intense pain becomes almost pleasurable. I see my life ebbing away. Then Scott Whitehair, dressed as a vampire, jumps out from behind the bar and sardonically says "Check, please."

Then I wake up with a yelp.

I instantly grab my phone and type "Note to Self: do NOT read Twitter while drinking whiskey and eating a Domino's MeatLover's Pizza. It doesn't end well."

#Paradox of Tolerance

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nntodayblog · 7 years ago

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Don’t Let Blockbusters Keep You From Seeing Indie Movies This Month

A24 Great Point Media/Paladin Film Amazon Studios

Snag a ticket to "Lean on Pete," "Where Is Kyra?" or "You Were Never Really Here" before the blockbuster deluge.

Now that blockbusters ― namely reboots and franchise fare ― have graduated from summer escapism to year-round fixtures, April is no longer a safe space at the multiplex. The month that once birthed “Field of Dreams,” “The Matrix,” “Election” and “Mean Girls” now belongs to the “Fast and the Furious” vehicles, Marvel and “Clash of the Titans.”

To see “A Quiet Place” rumble into theaters last weekend was to witness a small miracle. Heralding John Krasinski’s directing talents and notching an august $50 million opening, the post-apocalyptic creature feature is the sort of studio product meant to warm jaded cinephiles’ hearts: a high-concept crowd-pleaser that manages to be fresh andwhip-smart ― an increasingly rare sight in the year of our big-budget Lord 2018. “A Quiet Place” boasts the highest-grossing April debut for an original film in history, as well as the heftiest intake for an original live-action release since “Happy Death Day” last October.

The rest of April’s wide releases are, well, less thrilling. Oversized beasts are stampeding Dwayne Johnson and Naomie Harris, “Isle of Dogs” barks its way into more corners of the country, Shia LaBeouf flaunts short shorts in the otherwise staid “Borg vs McEnroe,” Amy Schumer stars in a feminist “Shallow Hal,” we finally get a sequel to ... “Super Troopers” (?), “Truth or Dare” turns its titular pastime into something deadly (Tyler Posey doesn’t take his shirt off in the trailer; skip it), and the Avengers threaten to put more superheroes on one screen than a VH1 Divas telecast.

Those movies will flood multiplexes in the coming weeks, ushering us toward the blockbuster domination that is May, June and July. Meanwhile, three worthwhile underdogs opened opposite “A Quiet Place,” shouldering the month’s indie marketplace. “Lean on Pete,” “Where Is Kyra?” and “You Were Never Really Here” are hardly light fare, but isn’t there some adage about bleak movies being the perfect way to escape April showers? No? You’ll want to invent one after seeing this trio.

We talked to the filmmakers responsible for these gems. If you don’t live near a theater where the movies are playing, add them to a list of rainy-day streaming options for later in the year, when you find yourself wondering who among us requested yet another Robin Hood retelling.

“Lean on Pete”

For fans of “Boyhood,” “The 400 Blows” and “The Black Stallion”

Written and directed by Andrew Haigh Starring Charlie Plummer, Steve Buscemi, Chloë Sevigny, Travis Fimmel, Amy Seimetz and Steve Zahn

A24

Lean on Pete is a racehorse whose cantankerous trainer (Steve Buscemi) describes him as a “piece of shit” ― catnip for our protagonist, Charley (Charlie Plummer), a motherless 15-year-old working the stables for $25 a day, partly as a respite from his aloneness and partly to gird his father’s (Travis Fimmel) limited income. Gentle Charley can’t stomach the thought of Pete being carted off to Mexico, where aged steeds are slaughtered once they are no longer moneymakers. So, in the dark of night, this spindly boy absconds with his beloved horse (an expert listener), trekking through the Oregon desert toward a broader horizon.

On paper, it’s a quintessential coming-of-age tale. But in practice, writer and director Andrew Haigh sees “Lean on Pete” as the events that occur before Charley comes of age. And he’s right: Charley doesn’t yet have the means ― the familial support, the peers, the finances ― to determine his place in the world. The only thing that steadies him is a tender heart. “Until he finds somewhere to have a base, in order to grow, he can’t even deal with ideas of identity or who he’s going to be or what kind of man he wants to be,” Haigh said. “And also, I suppose, in all of my films, I can’t help but want to show a different version of masculinity.”

Haigh is the master of compassionate relationship dramas, having explored a one-night stand in “Weekend,” a long-term marriage in “45 Years,” a group of gay friends on HBO’s “Looking,” and, now, a teenager and his equestrian companion in “Lean on Pete,” based on the novel of the same name by Willy Vlautin. It’s Charley’s desperate need to be kind, and to receive kindness from others, that grounds this particular relationship and separates him from the average teen boy. Whereas most kids his age are striving to master schoolyard politics or sibling rivalry, Charley is trying to conquer the oppressive ugliness of the world around him, hoping that relatives in nearby Wyoming will provide the stability he lacks.

“What do you do in your life if you don’t have support from your loved ones?” Haigh said. “Or you don’t have support from the society around you? It felt like it was something more important, almost, than just questions of identity. It was about something like, how do you survive in the world if you don’t have a framework?”

Charley’s journey makes for a magnificent travelogue in which none of the travel is glamorous. With a parting shot that evokes “The 400 Blows,” this is one of the year’s best movies to date. Another recent release, “Ready Player One,” centered on an orphan in an ugly world, but its virtual-reality bedlam lacked humanity. “Lean on Pete” more than makes up for it, sending its hero ― Plummer’s performance is a wonder; a true star is born ― on an expedition through the great Northwestern outdoors that ends with an introspective discovery. Bring tissues; you’ll need a bunch.

“Where Is Kyra?”

For fans of “Klute,” “99 Homes” and Gena Rowlands movies

Written by Darci Picoult • Directed by Andrew Dosunmu Starring Michelle Pfeiffer, Kiefer Sutherland, Suzanne Shepherd and Sam Robards

Great Point Media/Paladin Film

“Some people say it almost feels like a horror film,” Darci Picoult, the writer of “Where Is Kyra?,” said. “It becomes this terrorizing psychological deterioration.”

Those horror trappings are evident in Picoult’s sparse script, but they’re largely owed to Andrew Dosunmu’s shadowy direction. Working with Oscar-nominated cinematographer Bradford Young (“Selma,” “Arrival”), Dosunmu shades Michelle Pfeiffer’s titular Brooklynite with fuzzy grays and anesthetized blues. Laid off from her job and cashing her late mother’s pension checks for income, Kyra is often framed from a distance, the atrophy she’s facing as she nears senior citizenship foregrounded to reveal a genre of poverty rarely explored in popular culture.

Picoult wrote “Where Is Kyra?” in 2013, surveying the aftereffects of the late 2000s’ economic crisis. She first set the movie in Detroit, which filed for bankruptcy that same summer. But Picoult and Dosunmu, who also collaborated on the Nigerian drama “Mother of George,” relocated the backdrop to New York, where the glaring disparity between haves and have-nots underscores everyday economic strife. What is a middle-aged woman to do when she finds herself unemployed and undesirable, reduced to placing advertisements on vehicles’ windshields and being turned down for gigs at fast-food restaurants in favor of younger candidates?

“I always envisioned Kyra being someone who, if you will, had a life that had promise, someone who believed things were going to work out,” Picoult said. “And then, when they don’t, it becomes even more disparaging because she’s holding on, hoping for something better that doesn’t happen.“

Pfeiffer, who made something of a comeback last year with “mother!” and “Murder on the Orient Express,” has found one of the richest roles of her career, looking more desperate with each rejection and more weathered with each dignity-shattering wakeup. Kyra’s corner of the world struggles to blossom into anything sunnier; farther and farther she drifts down the rabbit hole of anguish, Pfeiffer’s oceanic eyes absorbing every psychic bruise.

“You Were Never Really Here”

For fans of “Taxi Driver,” “Good Time” and “Drive”

Written and directed by Lynne Ramsay Starring Joaquin Phoenix, Judith Roberts, Frank Pando, Ekaterina Samsonov, Alessandro Nivola and Alex Manette

Amazon Studios

“You Were Never Really Here” demands to be seen twice: once to absorb its ethereal grime, and another to peek more clearly into its protagonist’s fractured mind. As Joe, a contract killer (and PTSD-addled war veteran) paid to extricate young girls from corruption, Joaquin Phoenix dances with the camera, angling through the New York streets, slipping between past and present, reality and hallucination. Joe is purposefully elusive, a design that is at once frustrating and hypnotic.

“I thought I was making an action movie, but it also became a character study,” Scottish director Lynne Ramsay, who adapted Jonathan Ames’ novella of the same name, said. “I think I just gravitated to the inner workings of the character.”

Those inner workings are bleak: At home, where he cares for his ailing mother (Judith Roberts), Joe sometimes covers his head with a plastic bag, wondering what would happen if he finally ended it all. Outside, he seems as likely to take a gun to his own head as he does to avenge the brutes holding innocent preteens hostage. But that’s familiar territory for Ramsay, who treats grief and death as leitmotifs (her other credits include “We Need to Talk About Kevin,” “Morvern Callar” and “Ratcatcher”). What makes “You Were Never Really Here” powerful is its ability to place us next to Joe, psychologically and physically, as he flits between avenger and avoider. Think Travis Bickle with a splash of the adrenaline-pumping “Good Time.” The movie telegraphs a woozy paranoia, aided by another stirring score from Jonny Greenwood, who composed the music for “We Need to Talk About Kevin” and last year’s “Phantom Thread.”

For Phoenix, the role encouraged a certain visceral improvisation. “We would make decisions in the moment, and sometimes there are things I’m reacting to in the moment,” he said. “There are times when other actors didn’t know what was going to happen because we didn’t know what was going to happen in that moment. And I think I probably like that way of working in general, but I think it was probably really applicable to that character and this experience.”

You won't find that in "Rampage."

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BEFORE YOU GO

Matthew Jacobs

Entertainment Reporter, HuffPost

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MoviesSteve BuscemiJoaquin PhoenixAndrew HaighCharlie Plummer

Reference source : Don’t Let Blockbusters Keep You From Seeing Indie Movies This Month

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